Hello everyone. I’ve never had the courage to share my thoughts on an open platform before. But if I want people to see who I really am, I need to be honest. There have been many events throughout my life that have shaped my personality. But what I am about to talk about today isn’t really a joyful memory of mine. But, my blog’s called, “Indigo Pages: The Story Of My Life.” So, I can’t avoid one of the most important phases of my life: My High School Days.
You are a college student now. So, why suddenly talking about school? That’s what people normally say. Forget about the past and move on. Forget about all the pain it brought you. But what if I can’t? What if I don’t want to? A month back, I was watching Pretty Little Liars on Netflix. After the episode ended, I found a new show in my recommendations: 13 Reasons Why.
My mind was fascinated about watching the show. It may have been because I had given a presentation on Depression and Anxiety for a college assignment not long back. I completed the show in 2 days. With every episode, I couldn’t help myself compare their life to my high school life. Even though my school and their school were complete opposites.
One person in particular reminded me of an incident from my high school. Tyler, who was notorious for taking photographs of people without consent. That isn’t a nice thing to do, right? It landed him in a lot of trouble. He reminded me of a guy from my school. I am going to call him Jeffrey.
Well, Jeffrey was notorious for spreading rumours about people. Not everyone in class knew about it, but a secret group of people did. Everyone can be all saintly about it in public, but secretly everyone loves gossip. Especially, boy-girl stories. And of course, some people have vivid imaginations. In a matter of seconds, the vegetables become a stew. And you can’t identify who added what to it.
A lot of gossip circulated within the group. But things heated up when Jeffrey’s rumours got graphic. A photo can sometimes ruin you life, right? Well, things didn’t go that far with this one. But, it did some irreparable damage. That photo was a cartoon of two girls chasing a boy, like they were madly in love with him. It started as a joke, but when the girls whom the photo was about found out, things got ugly.
How do I fit in all this? Well, the school is divided into certain groups, right? Jocks, divas, nerds, etc. I had a group too. I had known the girls in my group for years. When a friendship survives so many years, you feel it’ll last forever. But it doesn’t. I knew those two girls through family contacts. Not very close, but more like academic rivalry. So, when they asked me about the photo, I didn’t lie about knowing about it, but I didn’t say who was responsible. Tried to save both ends, but did I succeed? I did, in fact. It never came out on who was behind the photo. So what went wrong?
I have been going on for so long, so it’s time I finally come to the point. Sorry if it’s lengthy, but I had to give you some context. This was the moment in my life when I should have realised something. My friendship with my group was made of glass. Only a seed of doubt was able to crack it. I should have known it won’t last for long. I shouldn’t have been so emotionally vulnerable. But if you spend you entire school life on getting good grades and making friends, and things don’t work out, it hurts. I remember how we used to bitch about those two girls. It hurt to think that my childhood friends were doing the same about me. Yea, I cried a lot. I was stupid and sensitive. This incident really put things into perspective; in high school, you can’t really make out who your real friends are.
Now that I’m in college, I still want to make a lot of friends. I struggled in my first 6 months, and I couldn’t figure out why. I was again in the shadow of some other girl. So, when the semester ended, I realised that I was going back to the person I was in high school. It took me years to become who I am today, so I wasn’t going to destroy it with my own hands. Today, I have a lot of friends. Good ones, some annoying ones too, but my life isn’t like high school anymore. I’m in control of my life now. I decide whom I want to keep and whom I don’t. I don’t allow myself to be mistreated now. My grades have earned me a lot of respect. But even they have let me down in the past. But that’s a story for another time.
Lastly, I don’t regret my school days one bit. Not just because my personality development, but because I found my best friends there. We call ourselves Ancestral Apes. I know, not very sophisticated. But yet very cool. I found a place I finally fit in perfectly. Even though we study in different colleges now, we have stayed as close as ever. They are the best, and I love them so much.
That’s it for now. Very long post, but this was really personal. Saying this, I go from here.